Taste Buds Transplant

Starting Weight 10/5/13: 187
Weigh in 10/19/13: -1.6 lbs (two week total)
Current weight: 185.4

So for my "first" weigh in last week I was down 2 lbs, this week I'm up 0.4 lb. A little frustrating since my week wasn't that different from the first. There are few changes I will make this week, so hopefully I will be down next weigh in.

I'm convinced sometimes that this would be a lot easier on me if I liked more vegetables. There are a few that I like and I try to use them as much as possible but if there were more I liked, I would have a lot more variety in my life. I wish that I could have a taste buds transplant. Get the taste buds of a skinny person. It's not just vegetables, other healthy foods like fish I don't like either.

A woman at the WW meeting today reached her 70 lbs mark. She said when she first decided to lose weight, she went to a party and she went around the room looking at the plates of the skinny people and decided to eat the things they ate. My problem isn't not knowing what to eat, but liking the things I should be eating.

I've tried to make myself eat things I don't like in hopes of getting used to it. I mean it's worked for other things in the past. I used to hate things like coffee, beer, and unsweetened tea. Now I love them. Maybe that only works for drinks, because it sure hasn't worked so far with food.

Losing Weight Is 98% Mental and 2% Eating Right and Exercise

As the title of this blog says losing weight is 98% mental and 2% eating right and exercising. Please note: I did no scientific research to come up with those numbers, I just pulled them out my bum but they are 100% accurate.

Tomorrow I am going back to Weight Watchers with my head held in shame. What a fool I have been thinking I could do this on my own and for other things. Although, originally quiting WW was more about money than giving up, but once I quit I basically gave up. I tried for about a month back in July to do this on my own, and then realized I'm too weak of the mind to do it all on my own.

In all honesty, I'm still not sure if I'm ready mentally for this. I am not optimistic and as determined as I was when I joined WW in February 2012. I'm torn between no longer wanting to be overweight, to be thin again and not really giving a damn. I've been dealing with depression for a while now and it is really hard to get in the right mind set while depressed.

I don't see the depression going away as long as I'm in as much pain as I am and it keeps getting worse. However, if I don't go back to WW soon, I'm going to put back on all the weight I lost. That's not an exaggeration either. I've put on at least 17 lbs in the last year. 17 lbs (possibly more) in 1 year! Holy crapballs. That's nearly half the weight I had lost!

So as you can see, I really don't have a choice. I need to get this under control before it's too late. I'm just foreseeing a lot more downs than up this time around.

Am I Skinny Yet?

Start of week 7/14/13: 182.8
Weigh In 7/28/13: -1.2 (two week total)
 Current Weight: 181.6

Last Sunday (7/21) I forgot to weigh in until the late afternoon, since I prefer to weigh-in at the same time, I thought I'd do it Monday. Well I forgot Monday too. So I decided to put it off until today. I want to keep it to at least 6 days between weigh-ins to try to be as consistent as I can. Having less than 6 days between weigh-ins can be misleading when it comes to how much weight I am losing weekly.

While I really did forget those two days, I think my brain didn't want me to remember, since I didn't have the best week. I'm sure if I had weighed myself last week, I would have put on weight. I had a better week this week and lost 1.2 lbs. I would have liked to weigh-in today and see I lost 2.2 lbs, I'm not that far off my 1 lb a week goal since I have lost 2.8 lbs in the last 3 weeks.

Portion control is still my enemy. I don't know what my problem is, maybe I need to start cooking things I don't like to eat.

I'm kidding of course. I already have a hard enough time resisting temptation. I get frustrated (like a small child) when I can't eat whatever the heck I want, and I overindulge (which includes portion control) out of spite. If I eat only foods I can't stand, it won't be long before I give up altogether and put all the weight back on. And that wouldn't be good.

Speaking of putting all the weight back on. I was at my pain doctor's office the other day and the assistant asked me my weight. Without even thinking about it I answered 202. It took me several seconds to realize what I had just said. I mean you hear about people lying about their weight, but it's usually less than what they weigh, not more and certainly not almost 20 lbs more! Good greif!

Though it was a good reminder that I don't weigh over 200 lbs any more and never want to weigh over 200 lbs again. It made me happy to realize I lost that weight and therefore I can continue to lose weight!

Week 1 Done

Start of week 7/7/13: 184.4
Weigh In 7/14/13: -1.6
Current Weight: 182.8

I was lazy yesterday and put off blogging until I forgot. Oops.

So week one is all done (hey that rhymes). Lost more than a pound, but there is lots of room for improvements. Mostly having to do with portion control at dinner. Otherwise I think I did alright. Definitely an improvement over what I have been doing.

The hardest thing for me this week though was giving up diet soda. It proved harder than I was expecting. I drink the rest I had and went two days without it, but dang if I didn't crave it and I gave in a couple of times while at the store. I'm still drinking more water, though so that is a plus. I don't have it in the house, so if I stay home I'm safe. Ha ha.

So here we go week two!

And So It Begins Take 2

Wow I can't believe it's been more than 9 months since I last wrote a blog entry. Especially since I didn't get off the weight loss track (OK derail) until December. Anyhoo...

I won't get into a lot of excuses as to why things got off track. No sense in dwelling in the past. So here we go, I'm getting back on track. Since I'm not working, I'm not officially doing WW ($$). I'm doing this on my own. Definitely going to be tougher, so I'll need all the support I can get. :)

My plan to start is to somewhat follow the WW simply filling plan (since I don't need to pay them to do it). Basically no tracking, only eating what they call Power Foods and most importantly portion control, portion control, portion control. I'm also going to replace diet soda with water lemon water. Although diet soda doesn't really have an impact on my weight, this is more to see if cutting out artificial sweeteners will reduce my Fibromyalgia pain since it has helped others with Fibro.

The biggest issue I have had since derailing in December and trying to get back on track is feeling hungry. Like all the time. Not boredom hungry (well not always anyway), but really hungry and not being able to satisfy that hunger with fruit or veggies. I always hear advice about drinking lots of water and eating fruit and veggies to satisfy hunger for longer. Sorry but for me that is a load of poop. I swear it makes me hungrier. I think that is going to be my biggest struggle. I will continue to eat fruits/veggies and drink water when I'm hungry, but I will need a Plan B. I am open to suggestions.

So here is my take 2 starting weight: 184.4

For those of you keeping score at home (because who isn't, right?) I'm up 13 lbs or so since December when I got off track (I'm avoiding using the term quit, denial I'm sure). Though I've been thinking about it as being 10 lbs, since that brings me to when I hit the 40 lbs down mark (early November) and the weight I lost after that didn't stay gone for very long.

I'm not going to lie, I've been beating myself up for getting this off track, allowing myself to fall back into old habits (old habits die hard and all that). However, I think being too hard on myself will cause more harm than good. I just have to keep telling myself that there is still hope and I'm not so far off track that I'm starting over from the beginning. When I go back to my first (well technically second) blog about my weight loss, I was at 214 lbs. I may be up 10+ lbs, but overall I'm still down 30. So I am in a much better position than I was in when I started this journey.

Alright here we go, take 2. Oh and I'd also like to thank my cousin Robin for doing this with me. It's always great to have someone on the journey with you even if it is long distance. If anyone else wants to join in let me know. We are all in this together!

Why it's just like starting from the beginning

Weight at Start of week (9/13/12): 180.6
   +/- at weigh in 9/29/12 -3.6 lbs two week total
Current weight 9/29/12 177 lbs

YES! I've made it to the halfway point. I have lost 37 lbs since February and I've got 37 lbs left to go. Sure I won't win any records on speed of weight lost, still if I've lost 37 lbs once I can do it again. It's almost like starting from the beginning, only with 37 lbs to loose and not 74. That seems a lot more obtainable.

I've lost 37 lbs in a little less than 8 months. If I can manage the same weight loss speed of 1 lb a week, I should hit my goal by the end of June. Just in time for summer. It will be time to celebrate for sure. Though if it takes me a little longer, that will be ok too. Got to take it 1 lb and 1 day at a time.

I will say though, I'm a little surprised I lost 3.6 lbs in 16 days. Especially after last Saturday, I had lots of pizza and lots of cake and lots of ranch dressing. I didn't dwell on it though, I know those days are going to come and they don't come very often. I just enjoyed it and moved on.

A confession and a rant

Weight at Start of week (8/30/12): 181.6
  +/- at weigh in 9/13/12 -1 lbs two week total
 Current weight 9/13/12 180.6

My weight loss has slowed down. Of course it's my own fault. I have had a few too many "I don't care" moments when deciding what to eat. I'm not giving up or anything, we have been eating out more than usually lately. Which is tough thing to do and still control my points spending.

In fact, I have a confession. I tried to cheat the system last week. After eating out a few times over the week, I knew I wasn't going to be down, I wasn't going to be up either, I was going to maintain that week. Weigh-in day came (Thursday) and I decided not to go. I decided I'd go Saturday, give myself two extra days to lose weight. Didn't really work though. I weighed in last Saturday down only 0.2 lbs.

I did better this past week, well up until Tuesday when I had pizza... But at weigh in yesterday I was down 0.8 lbs. I need to refocus and get my head back into the game.

Now for a bit of a rant. Forgive me...

I'm a bit bugged (ok a lot bugged) by the fact that Jessica Simpson is now endorsing WW. I find her very annoying. I understand why weight loss companies hire celebs to endorse their company. People love celebs and if they see their favorite celeb endorsing a product they are more likely to also use the product. It's a business, I get it.

I know you can't believe everything you read about celebs, but I heard she purposely gained a bunch of weight during her pregnancy in hopes of getting an endorsement deal for a weight loss company. If that is true, I'm offended by that, weight loss is a struggle for millions of people. So for her to see it as an opportunity for financial gain, it's a slap in the face.

On some levels, I'm bothered by all celeb endorsements of weight loss products. Sure their are celebs out there with real weight issues. Take another celeb WW endorser, Jennifer Hudson, for example. My problem is they are getting paid to lose weight, can most likely afford a personal chef or catering service, and a personal trainer. Heck they probably have people to do the tracking for them. Shoot, if someone paid me millions of dollars to lose weight... You get the idea.

Hmmm maybe Jessica Simpson endorsing WW isn't such a bad thing. I'll see her picture on the wall at my meetings and I'll lose my appetite. ;)